Why I became a Circle of Security® Parenting™ program facilitator

Image from Circle of Security

You might have heard about the Circle of Security® Parenting™ program through friends, health professionals and social media. You might have even heard about it through me. I do tend to reference it a lot in the work I do with mothers and families!

Have you ever wondered why it’s so great?

I thought I’d take some time today to outline my why.... Why did I train to be a facilitator and why I believe so strongly in the benefits of this program?

It started in my studies of psychology and social work some almost 30 years ago when I learned about attachment parenting and the emotional and psychological benefits of this for babies and children. I’ve worked with mums of young children for all of my career so I’ve seen the struggles that come with parenting, especially in relation to managing the behaviours that children challenge us with. I’ve faced it myself with my own children. In times when I really struggled myself, I used to question ‘am I damaging my child?’, ‘what kind of attachment am I developing with my child?’ (there are 4 types, 3 not so good), and ‘will my child need therapy when they grow up because of the way I’ve parented?’.

Parenting is HARD. If you are like me, you might always be looking for information. HOW to do it differently when the going gets tough. WHERE do you go to for help? WHAT kind of help do you actually need?

There are many differing parenting programs that focus on behaviour modification. They still exist and some are quite popular amongst parents and professionals in our community. What I’ve learned throughout my career and during my mothering experience, is that these programs often focus on rewards and fear based punishments. In all I know about attachment parenting, it is a bit like chalk and cheese, so it doesn’t sit right for me.

When I first heard about the Circle of Security® Parenting™ program, it felt right. Like most things in mothering, when it feels right to you, it must be right - for you! Circle of Security was everything I believed in, was everything I stand for in my own mothering, and it’s everything I support in my work with families. It’s ALL about emotional connection with our children and ALL about helping them process their emotions - and seeing that their negative behaviours are just a way of speaking to us about their emotions that they don’t yet quite understand. Yahoo! It was a done deal. I signed up straight away for the facilitator training!

Circle of Security Parenting helps parents learn about the way children naturally behave on a circle. They go out to explore their world, they need connection with us in that time, and then they come back to us for comfort, protection and help with organising their feelings. It’s a simple model of explanation. But what Circle of Security does a bit differently (and a lot better) than other parenting programs, is it focuses on YOUR emotions too - it looks at what emotions you had as a child that were not met by your own parents - and this helps us identify what triggers you already have (or are likely to have) when your child expresses their own emotions through words or behaviour.

I have built Making Mama Village as a business supporting mums with babies and toddlers (and young primary school aged children) through evidence-based information. Research has always been important to me in the work I do with mothers. I love that the Circle of Security® Parenting™ program is heavily based on over 50 years of research on the long-term impact of the parent/child relationship in the early years and attachment theory. It’s not based on what worked for me personally. It’s not based on a few strategies thrown together by a couple of parents or professionals. It is now a highly regarded program delivered worldwide.

Lastly, I have been delivering this program for some time now and have seen the growth, insight and changes for the parents who have attended. It excites me to share Circle of Security with mums and dads who are looking for evidence-based information to be the best parent they can be for their child/ren, or for parents who are struggling with the behaviour of their children and are looking for ways to manage.

Is it something you have been thinking about? I offer the program online over an 8 week period, or in one on one counselling sessions. If you are interested, I’m always happy to have a chat with you about what’s best for you.