Individual Counselling

Whilst it often feels like a lonely experience, it is common for women to face fertility loss, miscarriage, stillbirth and birth trauma. Breastfeeding challenges can be significant and come with a great deal of grief and loss for many mothers. Other issues such as the massive transition to motherhood, the loss of identity, changes in relationships with partners and family members, and adjusting to a new baby whilst juggling toddlers or older children can be overwhelming.

There are many emotions we experience that are unexpected. We can experience enormous grief and loss trying to have a baby. We can experience trauma during birth or breastfeeding. We can experience grief and loss around our identity and our relationships. Having a baby is a time of huge adjustment. Your sleep, priorities, and lifestyle are all impacted at once. With the waves of change it can be hard to sometimes know whether the way you might be feeling are all just part of adjusting to life with a new baby, or a sign that something is not quite right.

It is normal to feel emotional, frustrated and stressed at times. It is also quite understandable to have some concerns about your baby, how you will cope with the new demands and responsibilities, and sometimes just how to get through the day. For many mums, feeling sad, losing interest or enjoyment in things that you once enjoyed or finding yourself worrying over things to the point that it is causing you to feel distressed can be reasons to seek professional support for your mental health. This doesn’t mean you are a failure or not good enough. Seeking help in times when things feel overwhelming and you are struggling means you are more than the best mum for your child!

If you are feeling any of the following, please consider seeing me for an assessment of postnatal depression and/or anxiety:

• feeling low or numb – some people describe feeling nothing at all

• lack of interest and/or pleasure in life, yourself and/or the baby

• no energy – finding it difficult to cope and get through the day (may also be attributed to lack of sleep)

• loss of confidence, feeling helpless, hopeless and worthless

• often feeling close to tears, highly sensitive to other’s comments, or crying a lot

• feeling angry, irritable or resentful towards other mothers, the baby or your partner

• changes in sleep – not being able to sleep even when you have the opportunity, or conversely, wanting to sleep all the time

• changes in appetite – accompanied by weight loss or weight gain

• difficulties concentrating, thinking clearly or making decisions (which could also result from lack of sleep)

• feeling isolated, alone and disconnected from others

• having thoughts of harming yourself, baby and/or other children

• feelings of fear and worry which begin to ‘take over’ your thinking

• feeling irritable, restless, tense or constantly ‘on edge’

• racing heart/strong palpitations – sometimes panic attacks

• reoccurring worrying thoughts such as that you are not doing things right and/or that something terrible will happen

• avoiding situations for fear something bad will happen

If you are feeling anxious, you might feel like you are ‘going crazy’ or ‘losing your mind’ as racing thoughts keep coming back and causing you to feel a range of physical and emotional symptoms. This can be also exacerbated by a lack of sleep that can come not only with anxiety but also with a new baby. In response to the feeling of losing control, you may find yourself wanting to make sure that everything is perfectly in order and under control for fear that you are not doing things ‘the right way’ or that ‘something bad’ will happen. Oftentimes, counselling can help address these feelings.

For many mums, the struggle can often come not with your first baby, but with a subsequent baby. Managing the transition to more than one child can be a tough battle, fraught with the timing of a toddler’s normal developmental stage of learning about emotions, having tantrums, wanting to be independent and yet defiant and not listening – these behaviours are a real test for a tired parent who might also be managing a newborn baby. It means setting off triggers of negative emotions in you where you end up yelling or giving in and generally feeling stretched thin to the point of failing. The good news is you aren’t failing, you are having a hard time and need support. We parent imperfectly, but sometimes just can’t do it on our own. In counselling sessions we can explore your feelings of overwhelm and the mental load, as well as feelings of 'mum guilt', anger and rage. I will give you tools to connect with your toddler, while you also parent your baby, in order to reduce the challenging behaviours.

Counselling sessions are $175 per hour and are held at Kindred Midwifery, Obstetrics & Gyneacology at East Brisbane or via telehealth.

Medicare rebates are available with a GP referral for up to 3 sessions of non-directive pregnancy support counselling where you are either pregnant, or have been pregnant in the preceding 12 months. This includes women who have experienced pregnancy loss. (Please note: the referral needs to state ‘non-directive pregnancy support counselling’. Mental Health Care Plans are not accepted).